By Wow! I just helped myself. Thanks, Mary!
I feel like this needs a disclaimer…because it shows that I lack maturity. But remember this is a journal for me to grow into Mary 2.0 and beyond, so that may mean showing a few of my warts…
There was a recent LinkedIn posting by a former colleague about a career change/promotion. It was not a position that I was ever interested in. I was genuinely pleased for him/her (trying to stay gender neutral to maintain some anonymity). So what was my beef? It was with the commenters. I saw the individuals who posted congratulatory comments…and I knew immediately that several of these persons did NOT post similar congratulatory comments when I announced my career change/promotion a year ago.
And I got really hung up on this. My big brain was keeping score!
Here’s the why and where this journal helps.
The Why?
These persons had been my friends, or at least I thought so. Many of them even reported to me over the years and I had always been encouraging of their careers. Why wouldn’t they have congratulated me?
Worst case scenario (that I over-dwelled on) – these persons were never my ‘real’ friends. They were work friends, which doesn’t translate to friend friends…and work friends are often only friendly because you’re employed together (even if for a decade you enjoyed happy hours and shared major milestones together). Work friends are often politically motivated. The ugly reality of work is backstabbing does occur, typically under the guise of self-promotion.
Best case scenario – they didn’t log into LinkedIn on the day I posted and simply missed it.
No more keeping score
The reality is…it doesn’t matter and I need to let go…because the only person it is hurting is me. I can guarantee if they didn’t add a comment to my LinkedIn post regardless of the reason, they likely haven’t given me a second thought since I left their orbit.
And while that isn’t who I am or strive to be, I can’t fault them for their behavior. I put that in italics because this journal is forcing me to define my terms – what I mean by that. What I strive to be is caring, kind and supportive…to take the additional steps to let others know I care and encourage and support them to grow as individuals. Not everyone has the time or inclination to offer that level of support and encouragement. The world might be a better place if we promoted based on that skill set, but I digress. The reality is I can’t control others actions, I can only control my reaction.
Where this journal helps
I searched prior posts…and guess what? I had written a prayer back in January about fighting envy. And I prayed that prayer immediately. I felt God’s presence in my heart. I took a step back and saw ALL the blessings in my life; ALL the supporters; ALL the Mary cheerleaders.
My world is pretty incredible right now. I went from 0 to 10 clients in no time. And even though titles don’t matter, I have a GREAT title! I am staying busy but taking care of myself. I have a sweet Chiweenie who adores me (and I her). I am active in my church choir. Each day I am pursuing a stronger relationship with God and his son Jesus.
If you struggle with the green-eyed monster, my two pieces of advice to you are: 1) get off social media (and that includes LinkedIn) and 2) focus on all you have and not what you lack.
