Fear not!

Last week my choir director called me and asked me to sing a verse of ‘Lord I want to be a Christian’ following the sermon for two of the Christmas Eve services. I thought she had called the wrong Mary. I said yes, because 1) that’s who I am and 2) how could anyone say no to a choir director’s request?.

Here’s some interesting insight into my psyche – while I do love theater, singing on stage, being the center of attention and singing in general, I am plagued with insecurity. I have never been professionally trained as a singer. I don’t have a degree in vocal or theater anything. My mind recalled a sad incident years ago in Dallas Texas. I was practicing for a duet in a revue. The person I was singing with had been professionally trained…and it so happened that a person listening said in passing how they could tell the difference in our voices. Now I’m sure he wasn’t trying to be a jerk or mean (who knows, maybe he was) but that popped my balloon and I completely deflated.

Flash forward…

I suggested another singer, Cammie, join me and turn this into a duet. Everyone agreed. I then had 2-3 days to fret over a single silly verse. Singing a solo or a duet a capella in a church service is a very vulnerable experience – every breath, intonation, note (flat or sharp) is exposed.

As Cammie and I sat in the balcony awaiting our cue, I prayed….HARD. I prayed that God wouldn’t let me screw up; that my voice wouldn’t crack or go flat; that I wouldn’t embarrass myself. As I silently prayed, I tuned back into the sermon…and Reverend Tom was talking about how many bible verses have the phrase ‘Fear not’. And my focus turned from self-absorption to an opportunity for self growth and growth in my relationship with God.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

“…For he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ’The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’” Hebrews 13:5b-6

God was talking to me! And telling me exactly what I needed to hear. Maybe that’s what you need to hear too?

As we end 2023 and start 2024, I offer you this goal/resolution: do not be afraid!

Try something new! Challenge yourself. Get outside your comfort zone. Be vulnerable.

Fear not!