By March 5, 2015 was the official dissolution date of my marriage. It is hard to believe that was ten years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago and yet it also seems like yesterday! Does that make sense? Some of the memories have faded but some have not. I know some people celebrate their divorce because they are happy to be free. I am not one of those people. It’s not like the day is always pressing on my mind, but it is a little scar on my heart. I’m reminded of the lyrics from Carly Simon’s Coming round again –
I know nothing stays the same
But if you’re willing to play the game
It’s coming around again
So don’t mind if I fall apart
There’s more room in a broken heart
… And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I’m so in love with you
To be clear, I’m not still in love with my ex. I just wish I knew the reason why. It’s my analytical brain. Knowing somehow would bring closure.
God is trying to help me through, as always. Yesterday I opened up my daily devotional (which has been neglected for some time – it might be more of a monthly or quarterly devotional at the rate I’m going) and was encouraged by the theme for the day ‘Believe and Receive’, which focused on accepting God’s unconditional love.
I needed to be reminded that God loves me. In fact the devotional recommended saying this phrase every day – ‘God loves me unconditionally and I receive His love!‘. Perhaps you’d like to say it with me? Knowing of this love and accepting it is the key to happiness.
Here’s a daffodil from my front yard – a nice reminder of God’s love, letting us know that Spring is around the corner.
