By There is an OLD song called School Days that was written in 1907. I distinctly remember singing it at the Fox Theatre during the sing-a-long pre-movie fun. It’s funny how a song can transport you to a time and place. Going to the Fox for a summer movie was a major treat for me. Even today when I walk through the lobby into the Fox my heart skips a beat.
The lyrics are not politically correct at all, talking about being hit by a teacher with a hickory stick!
School days, school days
Dear old Golden Rule days
‘Reading and ‘riting and ‘rithmetic
Taught to the tune of the hick’ry stick
You were my queen in calico
I was your bashful, barefoot beau
And you wrote on my slate, “I Love You, Joe”
When we were a couple o’ kids
I thought of this song because my church’s recent Friday email blast had a different set of 3 R’s. Sabrina wrote about the 3 R’s that children crave: relationship, relevance and recognition.
I’ve transformed those 3 R’s to focus on me (after all, it’s all about me! me! me!). But seriously, I didn’t want to put words in your mouth. Plus writing these blogs in first person really helps me to focus my thoughts as I continue to work on Mary 2.0 (or Mary 2.5 at this point). My riff:
Relationship – I desire a deeper relationship with God. I also want deeper connections with friends and family…and – dare I say it? – with a partner. It’s been a decade since my ex sat me down at our favorite sushi restaurant to tell me he didn’t want to be married to me anymore…something about conscious uncoupling as I recall. I’ve been flying solo ever since. I am pretty sure I have a better chance of winning the lottery or getting hit by a bolt of lightening than in finding Mr. Right. Still, it saddens me from time to time to not share my life with someone. I have focused lately on improving my relationship with God (you may see that reflected in my journal quite a bit). And hopefully my friends and family have noticed me reaching out more than shutting out. As with every thing in life, I have to practice and make the effort.
Relevance – One of the fears of anyone retiring is becoming irrelevant. I once was the go to person and had meetings every hour from 8 until 5/6 every day. When I left where I worked, I suddenly had NO meetings. The feeling was like that of being unmoored. I felt a adrift at sea without meetings directing my every moment. Since starting my own company, I’m more in control of my time. Now I get to focus on my relevance as a consultant for my company. I also get to focus on my relevance (my meaning) in life. Because retirement is shifting from what’s important to a company to simply what’s important. And really isn’t that what I should have been doing this whole time?
Recognition – Recognition should not be confused with praise, adoration or idolization. I am not Madonna singing in the musical movie Evita, ‘You must love me’. Recognition is about seeing people…and seeing myself. I think I’m pretty good at acknowledging others and seeing the goodness in each person. I’m not so good about seeing that in myself. I’ve spent too many years hoping that others will recognize and validate my existence. Essentially that recognition should have been coming from one of two sources: God and me. Or really one source, God. Through Him I am exactly who I need to be.
Let me know if you agree. What are your 3 R’s?
Picture is from the box office at The Fox…which has an adorable tiny entrance!
