Brag is a four letter word

As is the M.O. for most of my posts, I had an idea pop in my head and I’m running with it. I know this topic is the right one because I was on a call yesterday and my client said almost verbatim what I was writing about. Today’s post was initially bubbling with my frustration at my behavior that I perceived had negatively impacted me. As I wrote this post (and likely this is why journaling is recommended), I was able to process through some of my thoughts to ultimately land in a better place about my behavior and actions. Let’s see if any of this resonates with you…

My complaint is that bragging is rewarded in the corporate world. As an example, someone I know is a braggart and yet she has been rewarded with promotion after promotion. Bear in mind that I had to clean up several of the messes she made with clients. And she totally created a Mean Girls clique within the organization. Shouldn’t this toxic behavior be punished, not rewarded? Yet somehow she managed to toot her own horn so much that she was viewed as this Rock Star who was better than all.

My backstory – I was raised by my parents to keep my head down and work; that my hard work would eventually be recognized and appreciated; in short bragging was frowned upon.

Fast forward to when I entered the workforce. The world became topsy turvy. Hard work isn’t necessarily rewarded…or it might be rewarded with more work. I saw people promoted that weren’t any smarter than me. All of these silly games that get played! It’s not fair!!!

And just like that I can hear my mom’s voice ‘Mary Frances, no one said life would be fair.’. That has to be one of the more challenging facts of life to accept. Especially when you watch movies where good always triumphs over evil, the girl always gets the guy, every one lives happily ever after. Real life is decidedly messier.

If I’m being honest, I have to recognize that others might bring skill sets to the table that I don’t see. Most of the time I can see that. I know I won’t be CFO. I am good at math…and Ingram Barge would tell you of my amazing work creating general ledger records from STARS to feed to accounting. But that’s not what I love. So what’s the take away

First lesson – document how you add value

To combat the braggarts, I created a ‘brag book’ at work to track what I accomplished or praise from clients. This tracking of my value-adds is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I encouraged my mentees to do the same. The reality is managers are often overwhelmed and aren’t able to see everything that each team member does. So taking on this responsibility for yourself is a good idea.

Second lesson – it’s not a competition

For competitive people, everything is a competition. Did I finish the test first? Did I get promoted before Jane? How can I promote myself? I’m not wired that way. I believe you do a good job because you want to do a good job, not because you want to get ahead. I want to work for a company that recognizes the contributors, not the loudmouths. And the great thing is that now that I’m my own boss…I do recognize my contributions EVERY DAY.

But if you’re at a company and you’re seeing this overly competitive behavior. DEEP BREATHE. Because it isn’t a competition. You can’t worry about what the next person is doing.

(Still, I don’t tolerate braggarts and can only hope that Karma will come along and knock him/her down.)

Third lesson – there is so much more to life

I was sifting through my emails today and found one sent from Andy Stanley’s church that included 1 Corinthians 13. And now the a ha moment. While most of us recognize this scripture because it is used in wedding ceremonies, it is important to know that is NOT how Paul envisioned it. The verse is a guide for all Christians in our relationship with God.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

Focus on the really important aspects of life – improving your relationships with family, friends, God. That is what the journey is about. Competition is about the destination. Life is about the journey and your growth as a person.

Don’t brag about what you’ve accomplished. As Nike says – just do it.

Let your actions speak for you.