Dating in your 50s, part 1 of ???

I have been divorced since the Spring of 2015. My husband and I were married for 15 years. Brief history…my ex and I were set up on a date by his brother-in-law. In hindsight there were a few red flags that I ignored because frankly all my friends were married and having babies. I just felt it was time and then he showed up and we fell in love (I thought). I was ready for my happily ever after. Instead I got dumped during an incredibly trying time in my life. He immediately moved in with a girl and that is who he ended up marrying. Was he cheating on me? possibly. He admitted that he cheated on a girlfriend that he lived with. I found that out about a month before our wedding. Again, a red flag that I chose to ignore.

I did go on one coffee date back in 2015 when I found out my ex was getting married. The guy reached out to hold my hand and I must have jumped 20 feet. He didn’t follow up and neither did I. While many people jump back into the dating pool following the end of a relationship, I did not. I’ve watched friends who got divorced after me get married. And I’ve wondered, ‘what’s wrong with me?’.

I’d like to say that I had a lot of soul searching and self reflection do to and that’s why I didn’t date. That statement is partially true. I would fill out a dating site application but either I wasn’t sparking anyone’s interest or I didn’t find anyone interesting. I found one guy too good to be true…and he was. I got an email from match.com that he was being kicked off the site for…I forgot how they phrased it…but my guess is he was either asking for money or wasn’t who he said he was.

Now it is 2023…and while I just had a really fun solo trip, I would like to have someone and go out for dinner or go to the movies or just talk about broadway musicals.

I looked at Tawkify but it was pricey and I had some bad reviews. I know lots of folks who were successful with eharmony so I’m going to try that one out…again. It looks like I tried them back in 2016 and had a match to this guy. I’m a smiler so his angry picture scares me. It was soon after this possible match that I cancelled my account.

But hope springs eternal…and as I tell myself,’You can pray all you want, but God is not going to have Prince Charming knock on your door. You actually have to get out there.’ Similar funny quip about the guy praying to win the lottery and after years and years, he gets mad at God who replies, ‘You have to buy a ticket first.’

So I’ve created a new eharmony account today.

First the questions…I mean how do you answer this? What is lovesickness? And now my cynicism is shining through. I’ll press on (my answer was neither fyi).

And now the price push – do I think I can find love in 6, 12 or 24 months? They are running a special for 12 month subscriptions…and the cheapness in me wins out. I’m already shaking my head.

Wish me luck!