By Are you aware of your filler words – the uhs, ums, ers that you throw into a conversation because you can’t stand the silence? In the best case scenario, filler words can be distracting. Often they do more damage than distracting, whether it is a one on one conversation, a meeting or a lecture.
Words are so cheap, but they can turn out expensive
General Public’s Tenderness
It seems silly that I’d write a PSA post on not using filler words…but people still use them, so I will continue to carry my torch.
Let me kvetch about a really really bad filler phrase, “I don’t know”. I’ve heard this one used by more than one person. As they’re talking about a topic they clearly know, their unconscious filler sentence is thrown out, “I don’t know”, multiple times. I am 100% sure they do know what they’re talking about and don’t know they’re saying this…and I know they’d stop if they knew the damage it did to their credibility. The negative impact is that the conversation recipient will subconsciously or consciously begin to agree with them – that they don’t know what they’re talking about. Perception is reality – and loss of credibility is hard to break.
If you’re not sure if you have filler words, try a practice conversation with a friend who will be honest with you (or DM me…I’m happy to help). Pick a topic you’re comfortable with and start talking (about 5 – 10 minutes). Then ask for feedback. If the thought of that activity is too daunting, simply record yourself speaking on a topic. I promise you that if you have a filler word (or words or phrase), they will burble up.
Becoming aware of them sometimes is enough to break the habit. Slowing down your speaking and becoming more accepting/comfortable with pauses and silence will also help. Practice is ALWAYS a good idea if you’re doing something big, such as a training or presentation in front of a large audience. I’ve found acting classes help.
If you’re looking for something more adventurous, join a Toastmaster International group.
Here’s my Top 5 of annoying (aren’t they all annoying) fillers:
- I don’t know – see above
- basically – useless word
- honestly – no! please lie to me!
- literally – another useless word in most conversations
- um – I completely tuned out of a VP of Development’s presentation and began tracking tick marks every time he said um. I believe I broke the 50+ mark before I gave up. If this were a drinking game, I would have passed out.
I’m not perfect. I’m sure I slip with filler words, especially when nervous. Actually my slip up is a little stutter when trying to get the words out (because my mind is racing ahead with the conversation) and an eyeroll when I catch myself initially. My solution is a big deep breath and an intentional slow down in the pace of the speech.
