By I approached most of my life with the mantra ‘no regrets’. My thought process was that everything that happens, bad or good, makes me who I am. There have been times when this mantra has been tested, most notably in 2014 and 2020. In 2014 my mom died and my marriage collapsed. I regretted some of my actions (or non-actions). I had some wonderful plans for 2014 and 2015 that got shot to hell. It took me a lot of praying (and support from family and friends) to recover from that year, but I did.
Fast forward to 2019/2020. I was on a pretty high trajectory. I had sold my car and packed up everything for a new life in London. The plan was for me to be there for two to three years to build out the service team. I felt confident in my ability to achieve this and was looking forward to the opportunity to show the world what I was capable of. Unfortunately my timing was WAY off. The pandemic caused the world to shut down. Instead of networking in London, increasing company sales and establishing hiring and training plans (and traveling on weekends to exotic locales), I found myself homeless and carless in a pandemic (being carless in Atlanta is dreadful, btw). I was very confused on what next steps I could take. I struggled with bouncing back and my head got trapped in regret mode. The dreadful shoulda, woulda, coulda kept me from moving forward.
How did I break the mindset? Similar to before with a lot of praying and support from friends and family. My sister and brother let me stay with them for months while I worked to get renters out of my townhome. My sister-in-law went with me on numerous test drives of used cars until I picked out my VW. I can’t say that I transformed with a snap of a finger. I didn’t. I can say that the secret to moving forward a little faster is to stop asking why after a while. Yes, you should ask why in hopes of learning some lessons to improve yourself. But if you get stuck in the ‘Why me’ or if the truth is there are no lessons to be learned, at some point you just have to stop.
And as I look back in hindsight, I can see the positives of those two years. I loved living in Louisiana from 2011 to 2014 – I made some great friends; ate some amazing food; survived a couple of hurricanes; rescued some kittens and found Mavis. I had a great time being part of the Northlake Performing Arts Society and the Junior League of Covington.
As to London, I am a bit wistful about that time and what could have been. I did have fun and saw lots of theatrical productions. I planted a seed for growth that was taken over by someone else and flourished. I made some dear friends. I turned around (with MUCH effort) some challenging implementations. I can be proud of that.
I learned what was most important to me, which is really a who… my unorthodox family: my dog Mavis, my brothers and sister and their families, my choir family at Roswell United Methodist Church, my neighbors and friends Rene and Inez and so many other friends that have enriched my life (Marla, Sophie, Mario, Jen, Dan, Angela…the list is long!).
So if you keep asking ‘why’ and aren’t getting clarity or you’re asking ‘why me’ and are stuck in victim mode, consider this the swift kick in your rear to push you forward.
