What am I doing?

This is me at the pool in Charleston SC, the first week of July. Note to self, going to South Carolina in July is downright stupid. It is hot and humid. That’s like moving to Louisiana in June (yes I did that back in 2011 – but I digress). It was great to see family but dear me it is hot hot hot. I grew up in Atlanta without air conditioning (that may be a future post)…which means I should have been more comfortable/climatized. Years of working in AC with fluorescent lights overhead sucking my soul made me a wimp when it comes to temperatures above 70. All I wanted to do was 1) not move or 2) stay inside in air conditioning.

Still the fireworks were lovely, even if the mosquitos were not.

I had two planned trips for the first two weeks after leaving my job, which helped me ease into this brave new world I’ve entered. I ended up sneaking in a side trip to Macon with my niece where we got to visit my brother and his family. If you’re ever traveling from SC to Middle GA, there’s a super cute general store in Beaufort SC called Carolina Cider Company that I highly recommend you stop at. Oh my high school English teacher would take me to task for the improper sentence structure! I’ll consider it poetic/artistic license. Mea culpa!

Anyway, after Mavis and I were home for a few days to do laundry, we headed North via I-75 (aka massive parking lot/traffic all day, any day) to our second big trip – destination Fairfield Glade, TN. Probably not on your bucket list of places to go, but these trips were all about family. I loved visiting with my aunt., but didn’t sleep because let’s just say her guest bedroom mattress leaves a lot to be desired. Mavis and I are delicate little princesses/divas! Mavis was a trooper – she tolerated her doggy stroller and embraced her inner hiker dog. She may have overheated, but bounced back nicely. While in Tennessee I experienced my first Buc-ee’s, which is a rite of passage for any traveler. I tried out Buc-ees in Crossville TN at 11:30 pm on a Saturday night with my beloved 80+ years young Aunt. Overwhelming, to say the least. On the drive home, I actually stopped and grabbed a chicken sandwich at Buc-ees in Calhoun GA. Also overwhelming. But I had a mission for food (eating lunch at 4pm is not recommended).

And now this week is my first ‘real’ week of no work and no where to hide from this new reality. I’ve asked myself the question ‘what am I doing?’ more times that I care to count. I’ve also texted that to my sister more times than she’d care to read/hear.

There has been no great epiphany regarding the Mary 2.0 transformation following these trips and this first week at home. I do know that I made the right decision. My values and my company’s values were no longer in sync. Somehow (while I was sleeping?) the start-up had become a corporation…and one of the reasons I joined a start-up 10+ years ago was because I didn’t want to be part of a corporation with its politics, titles and bureaucratic nonsense.

Stay with me – because parts of this journey will be about discovering what I don’t want along with figuring out what I do want.